It is sad that in looking for a news story, the media has perpetrated an unfounded idea that not only hurts the people with autism, but also distracts from the memory of the victims of Sandy Hook. I challenge the media to provide informed news, not just first news. Media outlets have the power to sway elections and change public opinion, for better or worse. You have the power to hurt and emotionally scar. Use your power for good: be informed. You can be sensational without being inaccurate. You can change the world.
My husband and I discussed the horrific event at Sandy Hook, CT. When my son heard the news that the person who committed those unspeakable acts might have had Aspergers, he asked us, "Does that meant I am going to be discriminated against?" We assured him that he would not, although we were not sure. He has come such a long way, we did not want to do any of the progress he has made. We also quit watching the news for awhile, because we were angry that reporting news no longer means you are giving out accurate information, and this disregard is irresponsible.
In addition to my son, I have two daughters in third grade and kindergarten. So when the media reported an entire kindergarten classroom had been unaccounted for, I imagined my baby's class and her teacher. I also thought of my daughter's previous first-grade teacher who always calls her students "my kids" and refuses to allow just any substitute teacher in there because they are "her kids." My heart wrenched. When the pictures go up on the screen, I see my kids and their classmates. Their hobbies are the same, even two of the victims shared the names of my daughters. I am a substitute teacher. Yesterday, I taught a fifth grade class and I found myself examining the classroom for things to block the door with and where I could hide the kids should something happen. So I feel like I empathize with this story from several angles, even though until Friday, I could never have imagined it.
I hope that we never become numbed to this event. I also hope that the murders of these children and teachers lead to very important changes in society, beyond gun control. It is a sad commentary on our culture that it takes something as tragic as Sandy Hook to encourage conversations about change.
We should re-examine the roles and expectations of our teachers. Until Friday, our society worried about teacher's ability to meet test score expectation. Friday, we saw that teaching means more than "teaching." We leave our children in the care of their teachers for the better part of the day, and we now know how dedicated our teachers are not just to educating our kids, but to our kids.
We should overhaul our responses to mental illness. Obviously the person who took the lives of these beautiful babies and educators was in a very dark place. Did he seek help, or did they turn him away? Did anyone ever notice he had issues beyond autism and genius? Do we even understand what mental illness consists of? Apparently the media does not, and they are the ones talking.
We should increase autism spectrum disorders' research and understanding by our society. Don't give my son and me odd looks when he has a meltdown. Don't criticize him when he does not look you in the eye when you are talking to him, because I promise you he can repeat what you say verbatim. Don't call it a mental illness or personality disorder when it is not. My son has a beautiful personality and a fun and intelligent sense of humor. I have foregone a career to make sure he gets the care he needs, and I don't regret it although sometimes I question it... but only for a second. He would not have come as far as he has if I had not worked with him. Someday he is going to change the world for the better, so I hope you have been nice to him; as he is, by nature, genuinely nice to everyone he meets.
And, as this is the Christmas season, although it has been tainted somewhat this year; I hope that we find it in our hearts to be better friends, neighbors, coworkers, reporters, brothers and sisters, and better people in general. Do something nice. Randomly. Spontaneously. Follow their examples. Do something selfless for the teachers, students, and families of Sandy Hook who gave their lives setting the example.
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